11 Questions First-Time Moms Ask Their Spouse

Someone’s gotta ask, right?

#1: We’re never having sex again, are we? Ughhhh.

#2: Does this nursing bra make me look sexy? I feel sexy.

#3: Is there poop on my face? I think there’s poop on my face. I can smell it.

#4: Are you going to take care of that? That diaper ain’t going to change itself and I’m already wiping half of it up off the floor. So…

#5: DID SHE JUST SAY DADA FIRST? Of-freaking-course. BUT AWW OMG.

#6: Do I look pregnant in this? Choose your words carefully.

#7: WHY do you want to try the breast milk? WHY?

#8: Can you keep an eye on the baby while I shower for the first time in a week? I don’t think it’s the trash that smells.

#9: Do I have Cheez-It crumbs in my hair? For the love of God, please help me brush them out.

#10: WHY WON’T HE STOP CRYING? DO SOMETHING!!

#11: How did we ever live without this wonderful, messy, beautiful, crying, pooping, incredible baby? Seriously, though.

Okay, spill it ladies. What crazy questions have you asked YOUR hubs or wife?