Mom's Day Off

It’s my mom-day-off. The husband is home with the toddler.

I’m going back to sleep.

But wait, my sheets are still wet from last night’s diaper overflow (we bedshare).

Ok, I got a towel. Placed it over the worst of the wet spot.

Now I’m going back to sleep.

“Honey, I can’t get him dressed!”

It’s true, the toddler is pretty anti-clothing at this point. He likes to back into corners and hold up his hand, in the universal gesture for stop right there. And then he screeches. Loudly.

Well, I won’t fall back to sleep while he is screeching, so I go and assist the wrestling match that we call getting the baby dressed.

Now, finally, I will go back to sleep.

Thud. Scream. Wail.

I actually think I may have dozed off for a minute there, which was lovely while it lasted. Unfortunately, our small sir appears to have pulled a book off the shelf, triggering a book-valanche and intense toddler-panic.

I’m up again, but I stay in bed this time.

I’m having trouble dozing off, so I listen, enjoying the solitude. Cornflakes and raisins are being eaten.

I have to use the bathroom, but I don’t want to be spotted. I hold it in.

More screaming. I think there is poop involved. My best guess is that the husband wants the diaper off, while the toddler wants it on. Husband wins, but barely. Quiet sobs of defeated, clean-bottomed toddler echo through the house.

I risk using the bathroom.

I’m spotted.

Husband tries to distract toddler while I use the bathroom in peace, but nineteen months is old enough to know when you are being played. Toddler is not fooled.

There are insistent knocks on the bathroom door. They get louder.

Now there are tears, the tears of betrayal.

I wash my hands, and the crying stops. He recognizes that as a cue. I leave the bathroom. He is waiting, arms raised, a hopeful smile on his face.

I pick him up, and kiss his cheeks.

Who was I kidding? I was never going to get back to sleep.

Husband looks at me.

“I worked late, and I’ve been up since six. I think I’m going to go back to sleep.”