Mommy Wars

The following is written by guest blogger, Gwendolyn Fiola. This is an outlet for individuals who would like to share their stories, in the hope that others will connect and find support. If you have a story you’d like to share, please message us on Facebook or email us at bianca@momof11kids.com.

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I love social media, as it is a great way to stay in touch with old friends and a great platform to meet new people with similar interests! My Facebook page is full of friends from elementary school, my small high school where I used to live, my coworkers at summer camp, and current friends from my church. It is wonderful to see and celebrate my friends and acquaintances grow up, become successful, get married, and have babies (or whatever order that happened in).

On my Facebook page, so many friends of mine are having babies and I’m digging all the cute photos that fill my newsfeed! Based on statuses, blog posts, and media “shares” it seems like there are so many decisions to make as a parent: Do we vaccinate or not vaccinate? Do we attachment parent or use the Ferber method? How long should I breastfeed for? Do we feed our baby strictly organic or are other alternatives okay? I’ve even seen posts that have asked do we start potty training at birth (I checked, this actually is a thing) or do we wait till they show they are ready?

The list really could go on and on. Lately though, I have noticed disturbing trends especially in viral articles and comment streams: mommies are not being supportive of each other but tearing each other’s decisions apart. I’ve seen people take their opinions and turn them into facts. I’ve seen people who have done something for their baby that works and then consider it the parenting gospel. I’ve seen mothers outright shame other mothers for their choices that are not even harmful.

Again I am not a mama but I am all about women supporting women. I am about women building community and learning from each other. I’m all about the fact that there are things we can agree to disagree on. I’m about women becoming informed by credible sources of both sides of the argument and then making an empowered choice. In reality, most parenting decisions boil down to trial and error, the baby’s personality, and preference. One of my favorite quotes is: “Good for her, not for me,” by Amy Poehler from her book Yes Please. This is a mentality I have embraced and I’m just happier that way.

I am so blessed to know so many great mommies in my life and I adore how balanced they are. The best advice I have received from a mommy friend is, “Figure out what works best for you and your baby. What works for some babies might not work for your baby. You are the person who is responsible for this little life and you have to live with the way you have chosen to raise them.”

Spread support. Spread kindness. Spread love.

XOXO

About Gwendolyn:

Gwendolyn Fiola (@life_love_and_lavender_blog) has a passion for people, healthy relationships, and marriages. Gwen also has a deep love for informing and empowering people about mental health awareness and the stigmas attached.

In her downtime she enjoys having adventures with her husband Rob, writing, modeling, and volunteering at her local church. Visit her blog at gwendolynfiola.wordpress.com or find her on twitter.

 

 

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Have something to share? Write about anything family-related, from pregnancy or struggles with getting pregnant, to breastfeeding or not, being a stay-at-home or working mom, kids and pets, how things change when little ones come along, c-sections, natural births, was the epidural as scary as you thought, vaccinations, first birthday party ideas, your best parenting moments, your biggest challenges, infertility, foster kids, allergies, taking care of you, the cutest things they’ve ever done. There’s almost nothing that wouldn’t fit, whether it’s happy, or not so much. If it’s real, we love it. Email bianca@momof11kids.com to get started.