11 Lies Moms Tell Themselves to Keep From Going Crazy

Sometimes, the truth hurts. It hurts so much that we’ll just lie to ourselves. Shout it out if you’ve told yourself the following…

#1: Whitening gum counts as brushing my teeth.

I mean, it says “whitening” so it should be fine!

#2: I’m totally showering today.

Nope.

#3: Gushers count as 1 serving of fruit.

Today it does, anyways.

#4: Sh*t isn’t that bad of a swear word, right? He’ll be fine.

Sh*t happens.

#5: I’m not nervous that he isn’t walking yet.

PLEASE. WALK. TO. MOMMY. PLEEEEASE!!

#6: I’m the boss.

Or at least I thought I was before he started screaming.

#7: I don’t miss my old life – at all.

Okay, maybe a little bit. Only for a moment!

#8: I definitely don’t smell like poop.

Yeah, you do.

#9: I don’t wear leggings everyday!

Only on days that end in “y”.

#10: I’ll empty the dishwasher when she goes down for a nap.

Zzzzzzz.

#11: That’s chocolate on my lap. I swear.

Change of pants, please. For baby and mom.