Why I Was Late for Work Today


The following is written in a real mom’s own words. This is an outlet for parents who would like to share their stories, in the hope that others will connect and find support. If you have a story you’d like to share, please message us on Facebook or email us at content@momof11kids.com.

Why I was late for work today: the saga.

There was heightened weaning-aversion. This is another way of saying that my nipple was being held hostage. This makes it hard to get dressed.

We had a great game of chase-the-toddler. This is another way of saying that we undressed him against his will. The pajama top came off in the living room. The bottoms came off in the dining room. The diaper came off in the kitchen. The wiping of the bum occurred in a few separate rooms. The new diaper went on easily, while he rested from him hijinks. He giggled the whole time; he knew exactly what he was doing.

My son believes that I am too skilled to limit myself to a domestic life. This is another way of saying that he didn’t approve of me making hot cereal when I could have been nursing him again. There were tears, but I did get my hot cereal. Eating it was tough, though, because…

Apparently breakfast is a toy. Which is another way of saying that my toddler climbed onto my lap, grabbed my spoon, and stirred my cereal for me. And then kept stirring. And kept stirring. All efforts to retrieve my spoon were met with resistance. Some cereal was spilled in the struggle. RIP, cereal. I took a napkin to clean up the mess, which provided enough distraction to get my spoon back. Toddler decided to help, and grabbed more napkins, which he promptly used to clean up the cereal that was still in the bowl.

Car seats are for the weak. Which is pretty self-explanatory. There was a wrestling match. There were tears. There were vague worries that the neighbors think I am a monster.

I’m also accidentally starving my child. This is another way of saying that I forgot his milk at home. Luckily I brought the rest of his lunch and snacks, but I still spent a good five minutes trying to explain/apologize/justify my parenting to his daycare teachers.

And then I went to work.

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