Keeping Your Identity

Let’s say your name is Tiffany, and you become pregnant.

No longer is it, “How’s Tiffany?” Because everyone knows how you are…pregnant, of course! So the auto-response becomes, “Tiffany’s pregnant!” Which doesn’t even begin to sum up how in the hell you’re actually doing…

Hey. It’s nobody’s fault that it ends up working this way. It’s true, after all. You’re pregnant, woman! And that is very exciting for you, and for others.

But what about that new client you just landed at work? Or the movie you just watched, and are dying to discuss? What about the argument you had with a friend that is eating you alive? Or your brave plans for a first stab at a vegetable garden in the sunny spot in the yard?

These things have nothing to do with the baby on board, or the ones you may already be lucky enough to have in your life. They have everything to do with y-o-u.

They’re the stuff you’re made of. The aspirations, anxieties, and nuances that make up your day-to-day. They’re the kind of thoughts and actions that helped you choose a path, and start a career. Catch someone’s attention. Fall in love.

They’re what you like about yourself. What you like to do, and what you feel passionately about.

So when you’re pregnant – or a mom – and someone asks how are you, don’t be afraid to lead with those things. It doesn’t mean you prioritize them ahead of baby-to-be, or the kids you have. Far from it. It means you value your identity, and hell, you’ve got more to talk about than your pregnancy pee schedule and paint swatches for the nursery.

Keep your identity. Land more clients. Watch more movies. Keep in touch with friends. Argue over things, then work it out. Plant a garden. Do you, and feel good about it, wonder woman.