Gender Swaying Myths

Have you ever googled “gender-swaying techniques?” Sometimes, you just have to embrace the crazy. Sure, these are old-wives tales and superstitions, but they are definitely interesting to read. Here are just a few things I have discovered in my travels. And again – this is just for fun. No proof!

To raise your chances of conceiving a girl:

• Do the deed a few days before ovulation, then stop—girl-swimmers are slower but live longer than their male-counterparts, so the boys will die off and the girls will be ready to jump that egg.
• Don’t orgasm. Sorry, ladies. Apparently girl-swimmers don’t believe in female orgasms (ok, supposedly this actually has to do with the acidity of your vagina, but I prefer to think of pearl-clutching sperm).
• Eat acidic food. Citrus! Tomatoes! More citrus! ALL THE CITRUS! (Sorry, I got carried away there)
• Eat foods full of calcium (like dairy products) and magnesium (like nuts, seeds, and dark leafy greens).
• Cut back on calories, and get most of those calories from carbs. (So I guess go for skim dairy products, to get your calcium?) Supposedly, in times of stress, the girls are more conceive-able, so you should make your body think that times are tough. Go figure. Make sure you get enough protein though, you still need to be healthy!
• Skip breakfast. See above for explanation.
• Use artificial sweetener instead of real sugar.
• Do aerobic exercise.
• Have sex at the new moon! (The moon ones confuse me, because what if I’m not ovulating in the right moon-phase?)
• Use the Chinese gender predicting calendar to decide which months to TTC and which months to skip.
• Make hubby take hot showers, which supposedly kills off some boy swimmers without harming the girls.
• Sleep on your left side? Hmm, I think I do that anyway, and I have a boy…
• Surround yourself with negative ions. This apparently means: moving water of all types (waterfalls, oceans, streams, rain, water-fountains, showers…wait, showers? I guess moms of boys are stinky? Sorry to anyone who hung out with me before I conceived my son, apparently I didn’t shower enough), fire (yay sexy candles!), fish tanks (huh?), fans, ion hairdryers, salt rock lamps (I have heard this one a lot actually!), air purifiers, hematite or quartz jewelry, beeswax, saunas, and plants (move to the jungle? Or just buy a ton of house plants, I guess).
• Use essential oils like lemongrass, lavender, mandarin orange, and patchouli. (There are more, I got tired.)
• Conceive in the summer.

To raise your chances of conceiving a boy:

• Do the deed right at or right before ovulation, avoiding intercourse for the days before. Those boy-swimmers are fast!
• Try to orgasm simultaneously with your partner. Any orgasm helps though.
• Eat all of the food! Increase your calories! Gain weight! Steak and eggs! Full-fat everything! Multivitamins! Become the nutrients. *ahem, moving on…*
• Eat a high-salt, high-potassium, high-fat diet. Heck yeah!
• Do strength training exercise (or maybe don’t exercise? Jury was out on that one).
• Have sex at the full moon. (Do you get bonus points if you pretend like it’s a fairy ritual? Or am I the only weirdo here?)
• Use the Chinese gender predicting calendar to decide which months to TTC and which months to skip.
• Make hubby take cold showers rather than hot. Keep those swimmers cool!
• Surround yourself with positive ion. This apparently means electronics ( phones, computers, microwaves, televisions….modern life, basically), gold jewelry, magnetic jewelry, air pollution (so all of Beijing’s babies should be male, right?)
• Use essential oils like eucalyptus, marjoram, rosemary, pine, and thyme. (There are more, I got tired again.)
• Conceive in the winter.

To raise your chances of conceiving twins:

• Gain weight.
• Conceive while breastfeeding (not while actively breastfeeding, confused internet friends! Save sexy time for after bub is asleep!)
• Accidentally conceive while on birth control. Not much planning you can do for this one, but you can try to…
• Conceive shortly after stopping your birth control (the hormones will still be in your body for a while).
• Conceive when you are older.
• Be tall. Damn.
• Have a big family already.
• Eat tons of dairy products. Say it with me: CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!
• Eat tons of cassava root. Like shocking amounts of it. Make it a staple of your diet. Or take cassava supplements, which Is quite a bit easier.

With number two on the way, I decided to leave it to fate.

Or else you would have found me living by a jungle waterfall, doing Zumba under the new moon while wearing nothing but quartz. If I decided I wanted a girl, that is. But time will tell!