From Tami: Blending Families

Blending families is tough. Everyone hopes and dreams for that perfect blend—the kids become like siblings, everyone respects everyone, we all love each other madly all of the time—but very few people get that lucky. Especially when the kids are already a bit older.

Don’t get me wrong, my blended family is well blended. It is just that the blend-level seems to fluctuate. Sometimes hourly.

I had four kids before I remarried. My husband had seven. We were trying to blend eleven kids, from teen to toddlers, and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

Because you aren’t just blending “families.”

You are blending personalities.

Parenting styles.

Personal history.

Personal space.

Learning styles.

Hobbies.

Holiday traditions.

Etc. (Yes, etc. gets its own line. ☺)

We had kids the same ages with vastly different personalities and needs, who were used to being parented in vastly different ways. Do you keep those disciplinary differences, and invite accusations of favoritism? Do you overhaul your parenting style, confusing your children? There are no easy answers, which is why each blended family is different. Everyone has a learning curve, and that’s okay.

We have it mostly right, by this point, but we definitely still make plenty of mistakes. My step-children and I love each other, my children and my husband love each other, the kids love each other. But there are days when I want to run screaming from the house, hide in a hole with a book and a bottle of wine, and pray that no one finds me. I think that is a natural part of parenting, and especially step-parenting, and that’s why I’m writing about this today.

Because I want every step-mom who feels like a failure at family-blending to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are doing an incredible job. You are not the only one struggling with making it work, it comes with the territory.

And that’s why you’re a SuperMom.

Tami